Screen time takes time, time that could be spent doing something else. You won't get it back.

Screens are experience blockers.

They stop you becoming the person you could be.

When you watch, you can't play.

And when you can't play, you don't grow.

The emperor of all maladies

Some childhood challenges are obvious - scraped knees, bad dreams, the occasional sul…

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I thought I was a pretty good teacher.

I kept calm. The children liked me. Lessons were fun.

I wasn’t perfect but I knew how to inspire learners.

Being a parent was going to be a walk in the park.

Erm…

Actually, it all started out OK. I believed in the power of play, of interesting projects and interesting adults. I set up the play space for my children and …

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What’s 864 divided by 27?

No, don’t check the calculator on your phone.

Do it in your head.

Really try. Do it now.

Did you get stuck partway? Did you find yourself whispering the numbers or mouthing steps of the calculation? Maybe you even reached for a piece of paper to scribble it down.

This is the extended mind at work - thinking shaped by the world aroun…

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This is the third email from the free email series, Breaking the screen-time habit. To read the rest, sign up here.

How’s the screen-free fun going so far?

If you’re like me, you probably haven’t implemented any of it yet. You’re thinking about it. You want to see the mini-series in full before committing. And that’s OK.

It’s my job to convince you that yo…

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Do you remember playing outside until it was too dark to see? The way time seemed to stretch endlessly, with no alarms or notifications to pull you away? You’d run, climb, laugh, and invent games with friends, only stopping when the streetlights flickered on or your mum called you in for dinner.

Those were the best days—when the only rule was to be home before dark. You weren’t thinking about schedules, homework, or screens. You were just playing. It didn’t matter what the game was—hide-and-seek, tag, hopscotch, or a made-up adventure where the world outside became anything you imagined.

Now think about your child. Do they get to experience that freedom? That pure, unstructured play where time disappears? It’s easy to fill their time with structured activities, screens, and instant entertainment, but there’s something magical about letting them roam outside, make up their own rules, and decide when it’s time to come in.

Playing outside isn’t just about physical activity—it’s about imagination, problem-solving, and independence. It’s about discovering what you can do with a few friends and a whole lot of time. The world looks different when it’s lit by the last rays of the setting sun. For your child, it could be the start of endless possibilities.

So, encourage them to play outside. Let them run until the daylight fades, and see what kind of memories they make when they forget about the clock.

If you’re like me, you probably haven’t implemented any of it yet. You’re thinkingabout it. You want to see the mini-series in full before committing. And that’s OK.

It’s my job to convince you that you’re on the right path.

And today might be the day that I do it.

Activities don’t work

If they did, you wouldn’t be here, looking for answers.

You’re probably tired of trawling the internet for the perfect “rainy day activity for five-year-olds” or hoping to find that magic solution that keeps your child busy for an hour without a screen. The truth is, that perfect activity doesn’t exist—not in the way we hope it does. The key isn’t in any single activity; it’s in the environment, the space, the habits you create for your child.

And I use the term “play space” in the broadest sense possible. Not just the playroom (if you have one) but your entire home, your garden, the street, and even the places you go together. Even more importantly, it’s about the places your child goes in her mind. Where does her imagination take her? Does she have the confidence to persist with her games when the going gets tough? And what mental tools and habits does she have to help her succeed?

Sure, some activities work brilliantly—but let’s be honest, how often do you get it right? And how long does it last? As parents, we rarely have the time to set up several activities or dedicated play areas like a preschool would, with separate spaces for reading, art, and building.

So, we have to approach this differently. Rather than focusing on individual activities, we focus on creating an enabling environment that nudges our children toward play, discovery, and creativity naturally. This doesn’t mean devoting your entire home to playtime; it simply means making screen-free choices so easy and inviting that they become your child’s instinctive choice.

Why is the screen habit so hard to break?

Because it’s easy - easy for you, easy for your child. Screens fill the gap effortlessly. And, just as easily, they turn into a habit.

But what if the path to screen-free play could be just as easy? That’s where today’s focus comes in: creating an enabling environment at home. The right environment doesn’t just encourage play; it makes breaking the screen habit easy and building new habits natural. When the surroundings and habits support one another, your child’s screen-free time will feel effortless and engaging.

In future editions of our Screen-Free Saturdays* newsletter, we’ll explore how small nudges and habit-building strategies can make screen-free time feel like the natural choice. Today, we’ll introduce some of these concepts to help you get started.*

What is an enabling environment?

An enabling environment is more than a play space—it’s a setting that supports creativity, independence, and hands-on problem-solving. It gives your child the resources to make screen-free choices on her own, over and over, until those choices become habits.

Creating a screen-free environment isn’t about complexity. It’s about making screen-free options obvious, appealing, and accessible. When her play options are visible and inviting, your child will instinctively turn to them and learn to play, create, and explore without screens.

The goal: Set up a space that nudges your child toward enriching activities that help her grow in grit, creativity, and self-starting.

About Screen-Free Saturdays

​Screen-Free Saturdays is about helping our children make positive choices more naturally. It’s designed to nudge them towards choosing play and to guide families in setting the habits that support these choices. Each edition will offer activity ideas, but they’re secondary to the main goal: creating an environment that reduces the demand for screens and shows children there’s something even better. While I can’t know exactly what your child will respond to, I’ll offer a range of ideas—hopefully some you haven’t considered. The core focus will be on guiding you to create the right environment and develop the habits that help her choose screen-free play more often.

Learn more

Creating a play environment that nudges toward screen-free choices

Rather than relying on individual activities, let’s focus on creating an environment that gently nudges your child toward screen-free play, making it her natural choice. Just as screens effortlessly fill a gap, a well-designed play space can fill the screen-free gap with cues and habits that pull her into curiosity, movement, and creativity.

Here are some ways to “nudge” your child toward screen-free play:

1. Use visual cues to spark curiosity

Screens are visually magnetic because they offer instant, colourful, changing stimuli. But we can create visual cues that are just as inviting, especially when they’re part of the everyday environment. The key is to keep these cues simple, visible, and ready to play with.

• Accessible collections. Rather than setting up a full “activity,” create collections that invite play on the spot. Arrange small collections of open-ended materials—like blocks, shells, fabric scraps, or art supplies—at your child’s eye level. Let these collections be visible and accessible so that, just by walking past, she feels invited to dive in.

• Mini “stations”. Think of play as something that can happen anywhere and in small bursts. Set up a few mini stations around your home: a drawing nook in the kitchen, a small stack of books near the sofa, or a bin of blocks in the hallway. The goal is to make play feel as immediate and accessible as screens, nudging her into play wherever she goes.

Big Idea: Cues work best when they’re visible and easy to start. Just like a screen pulls children in with its brightness and movement, small collections and stations can become visual cues that invite curiosity and exploration.

2. Design Play Options That Promote Choice and Independence

Children love having some control, and the more choices they feel they have, the less they seek screens as their only option for entertainment. By creating choice-friendly play spaces, you can encourage her to take ownership of her playtime.

• The power of choice cards: Create “play choice cards” with simple ideas for both independent and collaborative activities. Keep the cards somewhere easy to access, like a small box or drawer in the play area. When she needs inspiration, she can choose her own play option, building independence and reducing the pull of screens.

• Rotate and limit: Rather than overwhelming her with all her toys at once, choose a small selection and rotate them weekly. This keeps choices fresh and prevents decision fatigue, which can lead to “I’m bored” moments that often turn into screen requests.

• Redefine play. Play is more than just toys and activities. Give your child the responsibility to lay the table at mealtimes. Leave a water jug on the table. Prop the broom in the corner of the room. Which chores might she delight in doing? Folding towels is fun when you're five. A space that invites your child to contribute to the housework is one where she is proud to take responsibility. Make high shelves accessible with a portable step. You might be surprised by the activities that your child considers to be worth her time. Just avoid turning it into 'work'. As soon as the fun ends, allow her to stop. You didn't really need help with those dishes. Your child gained a sense of agency. That was the point.

Try This Idea: Children are more likely to embrace screen-free play when they have a sense of control. Giving her options (but not too many) and inviting her to choose her play “path” will help her feel that play is something she’s in charge of.

3. Build small routines that “pre-commit” to play

Sometimes, just getting started is the hardest part. To make play an easy, natural choice, use routines that help your child “pre-commit” to screen-free play.

• Anchor play to daily routines. Attach small play habits to routines that are already part of her day. For example, she could have “breakfast play” where she spends 10 minutes with her drawing pad or building blocks after breakfast each day. This type of play ritual, anchored to existing routines, becomes a habit she starts automatically.

• Set up a play “Start Ritual”. Have a mini routine that signals it’s time to play, like choosing a play card from her choice box or putting on a favourite song. These small rituals nudge her into play mode, making the shift to screen-free time feel as natural as starting her favourite show.

Helpful Tip. Small rituals help cue the brain that “playtime” is beginning. By creating these gentle signals, you’re helping her transition from other activities to play without feeling the need to reach for a screen.

4. Simplify clean-up to encourage play without friction

One reason screens are so appealing is that they require no effort to start—or to stop. To encourage screen-free play, make the setup and cleanup of playtime just as friction-free.

• Baskets for fast clean-up: Place a few baskets around the play area or home where she can easily toss toys or materials when play is done. This helps her feel that starting a play activity doesn’t mean a big cleanup later, reducing any hesitation she might feel.

• Involve her in setting up the space: When children take part in creating their play environment, they naturally feel more inclined to keep it up. Invite her to choose where things go or how collections are displayed. The more she feels ownership over the space, the easier it will be to jump into play without overthinking setup or cleanup.

Insight to Try. Friction-free play setups and clean-up routines make it just as easy to start screen-free activities as it is to turn on a screen, helping her dive into play without hesitation.

The power of the environment: encouraging screen-free play naturally

When your home becomes a gentle nudge toward play, your child will feel screen-free options are the obvious choice. Instead of setting up activities, focus on the environment and habits that make screen-free play the “path of least resistance.” When play options are easy to start, visible, and structured for choice, screens lose their pull.

In Screen-Free Saturdays, we’ll dive deeper into these ideas, exploring practical ways to create a home environment that makes screen-free choices natural and fun.

Today’s challenge: set up your screen-free play zone

Let’s get started! Here are the steps to create an inviting, enabling environment for play at home:

1. Choose a space where your child has room to move and play. This could be a living room corner, a part of her room, or an outdoor area.

2. Gather materials that are suitable for both quiet and active play, and make them accessible.

3. Create your boredom jar or box with both indoor and outdoor ideas, so your child can have options when she’s looking for something fun to do. Look out for a bonus module in the next few days where we explore boredom jars in more detail.

Setting up this space may take a bit of planning, but the payoff is huge. With screens off and play within reach, your child will naturally gravitate towards more independent, creative activities.

A deep dive into habits and nudges

We’re just scratching the surface, here. The heart of Screen-Free Saturdays is about arranging your home and play spaces so that screen-free fun becomes the easy, obvious choice. While you can’t always know what will spark your child’s interest, you can create an environment that invites her to explore the play potential of the world around her.

Looking ahead: building the boredom muscle

Tomorrow, we’ll tackle an essential skill in reducing screen time: learning to handle boredom. Boredom isn’t the enemy—it’s often the gateway to deeper creativity and play.

See you tomorrow,

Alexis

​P.S. Screen-Free Saturdays will take these ideas even further! We’ll explore Nudge and Atomic Habits techniques to show how small changes make big differences in creating a screen-free lifestyle. You’re already on the right path; we’ll keep building from here.

How did it go?

And how long did it last?

It’s not easy, is it?

If you want the tl;dr, it’s this: cold turkey is the only way. You have to give it up completely. And you have to do it for long enough that your child gets out of the habit of wanting screens, that she forgets they are even a possibility. Hide them, bury them in the garden. Do whatever you have to do to make sure the screen time thought isn’t triggered.

OK, all that sounds quite extreme. Most people aren’t ready for it straight away. But until your child has the time and space to realise that screens aren’t coming back - and that she is responsible for her own fun - you’ll never truly break free.

Don’t worry, we’ll take baby steps. As we’ll see, a three-week break is the gold standard, but let’s start with a day and see how that goes.

Why Cold Turkey Works

Screens are designed for maximum engagement, offering instant gratification through bright colours, quick changes, and stimulating interactions that lead to frequent dopamine release. Over time, this overstimulation can make it harder for children to engage in slower, more focused activities and to tolerate even mild boredom. Research has shown that excessive screen time may impact brain areas related to attention, self-regulation, and language development, as well as lower the quality of sleep and increase emotional volatility.

Going cold turkey is a way to help the brain reset, providing a break from these constant stimuli and giving your child the chance to rediscover the benefits of non-screen activities. While three weeks is ideal for noticeable changes (I’ll explain the reasons why in the bonus modules), even a single day of “fasting” from screens can bring benefits. With any duration of screen-free time, you’re helping your child to:

• Rebuild focus and attention. Without screens, your child can slowly adapt to concentrating on activities that require sustained attention, such as reading, drawing, or independent play.

• Enhance creativity and imagination. Boredom, often masked by screen use, can actually fuel creativity, pushing children to invent games, tell stories, or build with open-ended materials.

• Strengthen emotional regulation. When children don’t rely on screens to manage emotions, they’re more likely to develop independent calming skills, resulting in fewer meltdowns and a more balanced mood.

• Improve sleep habits. Without the blue light and constant stimulation of screens, your child’s sleep cycle can return to a more natural rhythm, supporting better rest and an improved mood during the day.

The three-week detox plan

If the idea of going screen-free for three weeks feels overwhelming, you’re not alone. Many parents feel this way at first - I know I did - but the benefits soon become clear. And remember: even a single day of reduced screen time can be powerful – start where you’re comfortable, then build from there.

Here’s a step-by-step guide.

1. Prepare your child (and yourself) for the detox

This detox isn’t just about taking away screens – it’s about creating an environment where new, enriching activities fill that gap. Start by explaining to your child why this change matters, so she knows this is an exciting chance to explore new fun together.

• Tip. Create a list of engaging, screen-free activities ahead of time. Plan options like outdoor play, arts and crafts and unstructured time. I give many more ideas for this in Screen-Free Saturdays but, for now, just focus on making things fun. In the Play with Purpose house, I knew that I couldn’t just take screens away and expect my children to happily get on with something else in the same room as they had always had their screen time. You need a change of routine, a pattern interrupt (more on this in a later email). My goal with Screen-Free Saturdays is to keep your input to a minimum. We are creating independent self-starters who make their own fun but, at first, you might have to be involved to keep things moving. With my children, it was rollerblades for the girls and a basketball hoop for the boys. The boys got a bit of responsibility, too, going into shops alone to buy things while I stood outside. The girls (who are younger), were allowed to ‘bake’ their own cakes, with free (and very messy) access to anything in the baking cupboard. The point is, I had to be involved, but they spent a whole day without screens and they didn’t realise it had happened. Obviously, this isn’t sustainable long term. It demands too much of our time and it can get expensive! But, to begin with, it’s a great way to break the cycle.

• Let your child contribute. Involve her by asking what activities sound fun without screens. This builds excitement and gives her a sense of ownership.

2. Set clear boundaries

Once the detox begins, it’s crucial to establish and stick to clear, consistent rules. Explain that screens are off-limits during this time – including TV, tablets, phones, and video calls (if possible).

• Get the whole family involved. Try making it a shared family goal. Everyone can join the challenge and discover new ways to spend time together, screen-free.

• Hold firm. Expect a bit of resistance, but reassure them with compassion. Staying consistent is key to success.

3. Expect some resistance

In the first few days, your child may struggle with adjusting. Complaints or pushback are normal. Screens have been a comforting habit, and adapting to a new routine takes patience.

• Tip. Provide alternatives like games, books, or outdoor activities. Keep encouraging her and stay positive during these initial adjustment days. My number one tip is to get outside. You can’t be unhappy when you’re outdoors. It’s the immutable law of childhood. If tempers fray, open the door and take a walk.

• Offer support. Help them find new activities, be present with them emotionally, and remind them that they’ll discover new ways to have fun.

4. Monitor the changes

As the detox progresses, you’ll notice positive changes. Your child will become more creative, attentive, and engaged in independent play. Her mood will improve, she will sleep better. Family life will be calm. Honestly, this is a promise.

• Journal the progress. I’m not the journaling type, though I’ve found it helpful at certain times in my life. But I love to track results. Whether you journal or simply track the number of screen-free hours that day, writing something down can be hugely motivating. They had three hours of screens today. Ugh! might be a demoralising journal entry, but if its preceded by days with 5 hours and then four, it’s easy to reframe it in a positive light.

• Celebrate small wins. Each time your child finds an activity she enjoy without screens, acknowledge it! Positive reinforcement boosts confidence in the new routine.

5. Reintroducing screens – if you choose to

After the detox, you may want to reintroduce screens in a limited way that’s intentional and well-structured. The key is to set boundaries that prevent slipping back into old habits.

• Establish clear limits. Consider allowing screens only at designated times, like 30 minutes a day or an hour at weekends.

• Make screen time purposeful. Opt for engaging, educational content rather than passive entertainment.

• Reinforce your limits. Let your child know the new screen rules are here to stay – consistency is crucial for maintaining the benefits of the detox. This is where we are in the Play with Purpose house. We have set times of the week: never on a school day and an hour a day at the weekend. It works. But only because the children know I’ll enforce it. No amount of pleading will get them screens at another time. Of course, there has to be room for flexibility. That’s a strength, not a weakness.

Lastly, there will be times when things slip. And that’s OK. We all have busy or stressful seasons when we rely on the crutch that screen time provides. But, having had a glimpse of a happier, more peaceful childhood, we’ll want to get back on track. When screens come back, so too will the dysregulation and the conflict. And that means that it’s time for another detox. The good news is that this time it won’t take three weeks. Everyone knows the routine, and your child will be secretly grateful to get back to a calmer life.

Children need to feel safe. They see the dangers of screens, even if they can’t articulate it. They crave the calm of unstructured play but they can’t break the habit. You have to help. Even though they’ll resist, in their hearts they’ll know that you are protecting them. And they’ll be grateful.

What’s the alternative?

Going screen-free, even for a day, is daunting. You can already see the tantrums and complaints on the horizon. But what’s the alternative?

What will things look like in a year if nothing changes?

More screens? More meltdowns? If you’re reading this it’s because you’ve probably already reached your limit. I can tell you from experience that if an eight year-old wants an hour of screens, a ten-year-old wants two. And she wants to watch more grown up things. And she knows how to get around parental controls.

Don’t go there.

If your child believes she has a right to screens, if she is in the habit of grabbing one the moment she gets home, the complaints will be all the louder when you try to take them away. The longer she depends on screens, the harder it will be to set limits. See this email’s post script for a message I received from a long-time subscriber on this subject. It’s an uplifting story. It can be your story too.

By taking breaks now, you’re not just managing screens - you’re reshaping your child’s relationship with them.

Up next: Set up your home for screen-free success

Tomorrow, I’ll walk you through how to create a screen-free, enabling environment - a space that makes play easy and inviting without the need for screens. With a few simple changes, your home can become a place that encourages creativity and independent play naturally.

The long-term view

Remember, small wins add up. If three weeks feels too long, start with a day or an afternoon. By holding firm, you’re showing your child that screens don’t control her life - and over time, she’ll learn that she can thrive without them.

Imagine what life could look like if you started today. Your child will gain a sense of control, learn to entertain herself, and - most importantly - grow into someone who can navigate the world confidently without needing constant screen stimulation.

Take today’s challenge and start small. Tomorrow, we’ll focus on setting up your home for screen-free success.

Warmest wishes,

Alexis

P.S. Following the launch of this series, a long-time reader, Melissa Towler got in touch. Her story is inspiring.

Hi Alexis,

Just wanted to share my own perspective - life is so much easier and better without screens.

I cut them out completely when my eldest was 2 & 1/2 and my youngest daughter was a new born so she was never exposed.

That 30 minutes a day that my eldest had was slowly increasing with a second child and the outcry at the end of those 30 minutes was intensifying. Plus, I had to run around doing everything in that 30 minutes. I’d just found 100 toys, and was very influenced by your approach, the exposure to grapat and grimms led to me reading up further into a Steiner approach, simplifying our play spaces, integrating a craft schedule and completely cutting out screens.

When I cut it out it was hard at first as a single mother of 2, I slowly chipped away at my tasks during the day, but it meant my children also wanted to help. In the beginning it did mean me helping them to help me, but they learnt so much that now my 7 year old can pretty much take over in the kitchen with a little help. I think cutting out the screens meant they didn’t miss out on these real life experiences. They have this ‘can do’ problem solving approach to life that I never had as a child…

Slide forward to today - when my four year old with no screen exposure left nursery, I was told that you can tell her upbringing is different as she engages in her play in a way no other children do, and her imagination never ceases to amaze us.

My girls (4 & 7) come in from school and play, get out their own books to read, and grab things from the craft cupboard to make something when needed. They will help if i’m in the kitchen, but get on with their own things if I need to work.

This was an investment in the beginning, but none of us have time for screens now it’s been established - I wish more people knew this.

Best,

Melissa

And in a later reply, she wrote this:

And actually it was your articles and guides on 100 toys that guided so many of the positive changes in our lives. It led to me simplifying our play spaces, guided the introduction of open-ended play, and your experiences gave me the determination to create something similar for my children (e.g., Christmas being about crafts). So, credit is certainly due! (I believe I wrote a review around three years ago on the positive impact your method had on our family.)

I’ve also just read your post and completely agree with the approach you’ve set out to reduce screen exposure - I hope other families can benefit from this advice.

Thank you again for your kind words. Parenting is challenging, but having a home filled with play, crafts and real food is such a blessing, and your work definitely helped us in getting here.

I’m not sure how much credit I can take. It was all down to Melissa’s hard work and determination. But I hope these messages help you to see that there is another way. We’re not condemned to a lifetime of screens.

How does it go when you say it’s time to stop?

Do you ever wonder what a brilliant, creative being she might become if she didn’t spend so long online?

Fun good; screens bad

I’ve been quite vocal about my dislike of screens.

But my children still get screen time.

And I hate it.

I see the damage it does. I see the opportunities it denies them. But I give it to them anyway.

Or rather, I did.

We made a change. We broke the habit. And, as you know, habits are hard to break. But you can do it. And this mini-series will show you how.

My children still get time on the computer. But we went cold turkey for a while. It showed them another way and opened a window in their minds to the possibilities - and they haven’t looked back.

Now screens are back, but it’s limited and under control. Above all, everyone accepts the rules. They see why they are important.

My story

Like you, I’ve always known screens were awful. And I did my best to keep them out of my children’s lives, apart from the occasional episode of Thomas the Tank Engine while I was preparing lunch. How could anything that happened on the Island of Sodor be bad?

Memories of my own childhood convinced me that screens weren’t necessary. A bit of space and the freedom to make a guilt-free mess were all you needed for a happy time.

But I lost my first company. Liquidation is tough. I had to relaunch without any money and bring up four young children whilst working from home. My wife was at university, training to be a doctor. And the children are older now. They don’t just accept what I give them. They have opinions. :(

So screens crept in.

And, the worst part is, they helped.

I had deadlines. I had bills. I needed a break.

But half an hour on a screen turns into an hour, turns into two. And now the children are hungry. I can see that they’ll be dysregulated if I turn things off.

Hmmm… Looks like I’ve painted myself into a corner.

Your story

Maybe you find yourself in the same corner, surrounded by paint. It would take an enormous leap to get out and you’re not sure you can do it. Get it wrong and you’ve created a great big sticky mess.

But what’s it like in that corner?

Here’s how I felt - and this is coming from someone whose job it is to keep children happily engaged through independent fun:

• My children were becoming dependent on screens for entertainment.When they were bored, they didn’t know how to play on their own. Or rather, they lost their confidence and belief. They weren’t willing to try. And these were the 100 Toys children, the children who had had every advantage, who knew how to play.

• I was feeling more stressed. I found myself managing screen time constantly - setting limits, dealing with the meltdowns, negotiating when it was time to turn them off.

• Family time was suffering. Meals were shorter, everyone wanted to get back to their screen. Those quiet, connected moments were disappearing. Bedtime stories, the best thing I have ever done with my children, the thing that gives me most joy, stopped. We were late getting upstairs. The gentle wind-down at the end of the day had become a game of whack-a-mole, trying to get over-excited, sometimes stressed children calm and into bed.

The screen-time habit wasn’t just affecting my children—it was affecting all of us.

Walking over wet paint is going to ruin your shoes. But there’s nothing to be done. We are where we are.

You didn’t like those shoes anyway, did you?

The way out

If you’ve ever tried to give up coffee or sugar or anything else, you know that just cutting down is almost impossible. It takes a huge amount of willpower.

Better to take it away completely and reset.

And that’s what this series is about. Taking a break, dealing with the objections and showing your child that it’s fun out there, in the screen-free world.

Over the next five days, we’re going to take small but powerful steps to break the screen-time habit in your house. You don’t need to make big, drastic changes overnight. This isn’t about feeling guilty or getting it ‘perfect’ from day one. It’s about finding a balance that works for your family and taking back control, one step at a time.

Where we’re going

Here’s what you can expect over the next few days:

• Day 2: We’ll dive into why going cold turkey is the key to resetting your child’s relationship with screens. Trust me - it’s easier than it sounds, and I’ll show you how to do it successfully.

• Day 3: You’ll learn how to create a screen-free, enabling environmentthat naturally encourages play, creativity, and independence - so screens won’t even feel necessary.

• Day 4: We’ll talk about building your child’s boredom muscle - and why boredom is essential for developing creativity, patience, and problem-solving skills.

• Day 5: We’ll look at the importance of replacing bad habits with good ones, using James Clear’s Atomic Habits approach to make screen-free play a lasting part of your routine.

• By the end of this series, you’ll have the tools to help your child rediscover the joy of play, reconnect your family, and find a healthier, more balanced relationship with screens.

Today’s challenge: track your screen time

Before we start making any changes, I want you to do something that really helped me: just notice how much screen time is happening in your home.

Here’s what to do:

1. Choose one day to track your family’s screen use.

2. Jot down every time someone uses a screen - whether it’s the TV, a tablet, a phone, or any other device. Don’t worry about changing anything yet - just observe.

3. Pay attention to the moments when you turn to screens. Are they being used as a reward? A distraction? A way to calm things down?

4. Involve your children. Ask them to notice when they’re using screens, too. It’s a fun way for them to become more aware of their own habits.

If you’re like me, you probably won’t actually track it.

It’s obvious. I know how much screen time my children have. I don’t need to write it down. I already know it’s too much.

OK, that’s fine. But do you know what finally made me make a change? I’d bought a Nintendo Switch for the children so that I could control their screen use. It has a timer. You can set it to switch off automatically after an hour. It saved me from being the bad guy.

Time to turn it off. Stop now. Please stop! Why isn’t anyone listening to me…?

Now it just turns off.

Not my fault. Don’t blame me. We agreed you can have an hour and now the time’s up.

It depersonalises and de-escalates.

But the real reason we got the Switch is that it got the children off the television. They always seemed to end up watching something inappropriate, even with the strictest parental controls.

One day, I was on the Nintendo Family Sharing app, changing some settings when I came across a ‘screen use’ tab.

Total time: 205 hours.

205 hours?

I had been lying to myself. If the device hadn’t tracked the usage, I would have had no idea. My mind was made up in that moment.

Something had to change.

Why it matters

By tracking screen use for a day, you’ll start to see patterns. You’ll notice the times when screens seem to sneak in - and maybe even why. This is the first step toward making changes that last.

Day #2

Tomorrow, we’re going to talk about the next step: taking a break from screens completely. I know it sounds scary, but don’t worry - we’ll do it together. I’ll guide you through how to make it work for your family, and you’ll be amazed at the transformation that’s possible.

For now, just focus on today’s task. You’ve already taken the first step, and I’m here to help you every step of the way.

Warmest wishes,

Alexis

P.S. If your child’s screen use is high, try not to feel too guilty about it. We’ve all done it. It’s something we can fix. Simply tracking your family’s screen use is a powerful first step toward making lasting changes. You don’t have to write down exact numbers if you don’t want to. Make a mental note but try to be honest with yourself. It may be a big number, but that’s OK. If it’s 5 hours today and after the mini-series is over it’s down to 3, but you didn’t manage to spend a few days going cold turkey, you didn’t fail. You cut screen time by two hours a day. Think of all the play and learning that happened in that time. That’s two hours a day, 14 a week, 730 hours a year. How much does that add up to over a childhood? It’s enough time to learn an instrument, excel at sport, read a mountain of books - or just spend time doing the things you love.

P.P.S. Breaking the screen-time habit is part of the Screen-Free Saturdays. In case you missed it, you can read the launch email here. And if you're tempted by the entire project, you can join the Co-Conspirators for the early bird price of £29 until October 30th.

I’m a hypocrite.

As I write this, my children are on screens. Which is ironic because my new project is about going screen-free.

I had the best of intentions. But sometimes you have to bend in order not to break. One of the four is having a meltdown. My second son is revising for a test. I have an important deadline: this email.

The house must be quiet.

I could stick to my principles, take a break, calm everyone down and start a fun activity for all to enjoy.

And I could do it.

I know how.

But this is an emergency and I don’t have the time.

That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I know screens are a reality. They are increasingly part of life now for most children.

I don’t have to tell you they’re bad. You know about the dopamine high they induce and the crash and fury they provoke when taken away.

Screen-Free Saturdays is about fewer screens, not none at all.

It’s about keeping screens for emergencies and the occasional down time at the end of a busy day.

I’d love to get rid of them completely but that’s not realistic.

A wasted childhood

In his book, The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt quotes research showing children spend 4 - 6 hours a day on screens.

4 - 6 hours a day!

That’s 70% of a child’s waking hours, after school and other non-negotiable activities like meals and travel.

What’s left for play?

And research has shown us that play is vital for development.

Think back to your own childhood. I don’t know about you but I spent hours playing outside. In the summer I didn’t come in until it got dark. As a nine-year-old I was allowed to ride my bicycle down the road to visit friends. We used to hang out and do all kinds of silly - and probably quite dangerous things. On rainy days, stuck at home, I had access to the tools in the garage. I made a new windowsill for my bedroom from an old piece of wood. I learnt to repair tyres. My mother showed me how to bake bread. I made a loaf in the shape of a bunch of grapes. I can still remember the hot, yeasty, lip-scorching steam that escaped as I broke it open to take that first, delicious bite.

I even played with my sister, my sworn enemy, if things got really desperate!

If I could have my childhood again, would I give up 70% of that time, of those memories and rich experiences?

Would you?

Why would it be any different for your child?

If she knew what she was missing, what choice would she make?

100 good things

I tried this with my ten-year-old. I told him about all the fun I had as a child.

Would you give up screens if you were allowed to do the things I could do.

He answered without hesitating.

So we made up a list of 100 things he would like to do if he had more independence, from putting bread in the toaster by himself, to walking to the shops alone, to riding a bus and visiting friends. We put them in order of difficulty (and safety), and started with a slice of honey on toast. Now he walks to the end of the road to collect our Friday night pizza. Over the weeks and months we’ll get through that list, as his confidence - and ours - grows.

NOTE: we explore this idea in more detail in one of the first Screen-Free Saturdays newsletters.

I know things are different now. We worry more about our children’s safety (and some of that is a good thing, but some not). We are more involved in their lives.

But there’s a space between the battery hen existence of a child on screens and the probably-too-dangerous freedom many of us enjoyed as children. That space is where Screen-Free Saturdays lives.

Start with just one day

I have an idealistic streak, which I have to rein in. I love the idea of banning screens altogether. I know how good it would be.

But no child is an island. They have friends. They talk in the playground. Have you seen this? Did you play that? Come to my house for a playdate and we can do it together.

But even just one day a week would make a huge difference, wouldn’t it?. It shows your child that there is another world out there, a world where she is in charge, where she can make her own fun.

She learns that she has control over her life, that she has the power to change things, to make things happen.

The secret

So what’s the formula? How does Screen-Free Saturdays work?

If you’re been following me for a while now, you’ll know that I’m not a fan of activities. They’re adult-led and so time-consuming to set up.

Worst of all, they are hit-and-miss. You might come up with a great one - or all your efforts could be wasted.

There has to be a better way. And there is:

You need interests, not one-off activities.

Screen-Free Saturdays is about helping your child to find something she drawn to, a baton she can take up and run with.

Look for themes, for broad categories. Encourage your child to poke around and look for threads to pull at.

For my second son, it was a poster he made at school for a non-alcoholic cocktail. He loves anything sour, so he called it SourStrike.

What’s in the drink? I asked him.

I bet you could make it. You know, sour drinks just have a lemon and sugar base. You could try a few combinations and see which one you like.

So he researched ingredients and made a list. We walked to the shops and came back with a bulging bag of juices, limes and lemons.

He made a grid:

Ingredient 1 | Ingredient 2 | Score | Comment

1. Sour mix + Cherry soda, 9/10, “Amazing! Sweet and sour and cherryish! 

2. Sour mix + Orange juice, 7/10 “Zingy!” 

3. And so on.

Over the years, he has watched me build 100 Toys, Get Set Five, A Year With My Child and now Play with Purpose. Last Christmas he asked for the Usborne Big Subjects for Beginners boxed set. He learnt all about business.

And from there he got the idea of starting a lemonade stand.

But then, a lightbulb moment: he doesn’t want to sell lemonade. The project has become real. He’s selling SourStrike.

I prompted him with Socratic questioning (sounds pretentious; works great). Each question was met with another one. He knows not to ask me for a straight answer. He won’t get one.

More questions followed. This time they all came from him. - How much can I sell it for? - How much profit will I make? - Am I allowed to sell on the street? - How can I get it into bottles? - How can I make the labels? - How will people find out about it? - Can I sell it on a website, like yours?

And so Sourstrike.com was born. It’s a work in progress. Check back over the coming weeks and watch it take shape. He has drawn pictures, made recipe cards and planned the copy.

He has so many questions - and he didn’t go near a screen all weekend.

I have four children and I work from home. I don’t have the time (or, quite honestly, the inclination) to sit with him all the time while he works on it. All he needed was the seed of an idea and a little encouragement from me to get started.

I can’t tell you what your child will be interested in.

But I can help you find out.

And maybe we’ll end up with a little less screen time thrown into the bargain.

Screen-Free Saturdays and The Play Tools

The Play Tools sit at the heart of the Play with Purpose project.

One of the reasons I’m so reluctant to suggest elaborate activities is that you are training your child to depend on outside forces for entertainment, whether that’s you, screens or pinching a sibling to see what happens.

Whenever she feels bored, she’ll come to you (or start a fight…).

So what's the answer?

“Go away and find something to do.” It’s a phrase my children hear all the time. I’m gentle about it, but they know I mean it.

And it works.

But it only works because of The Play Tools. Over the years, my children have developed a degree of resilience that only really comes from knowing that the buck stops with them. They still bicker. And they complain all the time. But, in the end, they know that they have the mental tools to handle what life throws at them.

The Play Tools are quick (taking just a few seconds, and certainly no more than a minute) actions you or your child can take to refocus and get back to play. Over time, they become internalised and habitual.

My sister’s angry. I know how to handle it. I can get on with my game.

I spilt paint all over my work. It’s ruined. But that’s OK. I can make another one.

It’s noisy in here. I notice that it’s making me agitated. I’ll go play in another room.

Of course, children don’t develop such maturity through direct instruction. The Play Tools are short games or actions to perform whenever something goes wrong. You start by playing them with your child but over time she learns to notice situations where they might help and starts to apply them herself.

And slowly, almost imperceptibly, things get better.

Can you see how screen-free fun depends on this kind of self-control and self-knowledge?

Children need the power to make their own fun - but also to resist temptation and distraction.

It’s not enough to start a screen-free activity, you have to stick to it.

Breaking the screen-time habit

Reducing - or removing - screens is a two-part process. First, you have to break the habit, then you have to fill all the free time.

With that in mind, I’ve created a mini email series, called Breaking the screen-time habit. I’ll show you effective, research-backed ways to make the change, that you can implement straight away.

​Click this link and enter your email address to subscribe.

Final word

My six-year-old isn’t interested in screens at all, even when her older siblings are making noisy demands. It took a while, but we got the screen-free recipe right.

And it’s something I can teach you.